Adopting Couple's New Baby Delivered by Miracle Stork

by Fintan Dunne, 30 July, 2105 

In a world-first, a Minnesota couple are now celebrating the arrival of a new-born baby girl --which came via a miraculous delivery by stork!

The couple, Sarah and David Olson already had two children - but had been battling a harrowing secret ordeal. They always knew they wanted three children, but they lacked that third infant which would make their family "complete".

The Olsens had been trying in vain to conceive for what must have seemed an interminable eight long months before eventually deciding to adopt while aboard Sarah's birthday gift flight to New York. 

That decision was partly inspired by Sarah's sister - who had already taken delivery of a child she had ordered online via in an inter-country adoption from China.

But Sarah and David could hardly believe what happened next. After months of waiting, one Tuesday their Christian adoption consultant phoned to advise them that a truly miraculous birth had just taken place. 

Normally, human babies require a human mother, but the consultant's exciting news was that an actual stork had just delivered a new-born baby to a Florida medical facility. And all they had to do to claim the new infant was simply show up.
"Are you ready for a miracle?" their adoption consultant said. "We have a stork drop situation and if you say yes, this is your daughter!”

But their long battle to complete family-hood was not yet over. Their plane journey from Minnesota to Tallahassee took nearly 14 hours - due to flight delays. That final hurdle must have taxed their Christian faith, but even then their waiting wasn't over. 

"We walked into the room expecting to meet our baby, but it was empty. The charge nurse was busy and couldn’t bring her down yet. Another wait. Those 20 minutes may have been hours," David told ABC News.

However, as the syndicated photo shoot of their eventual meeting with the new baby shows, it turned out well in the end for everybody who was well off. And the Olsens' Christianity seems now even deeper - if that's possible. 
They later sent a heartfelt message to ABC News. "Thank you to the adoptive parents that sacrifice to bring children home into their forever families," they wrote with typical Christian modesty.

In the Olsens case, the sacrifice cost them dearly : the months of repeated conception attempts; the Christian consultant's fees; long plane journey; and the almost 20 minute wait at the medical facility. Was it worth it? 

See pictures and full story:

**No storks were harmed in the making of this self-congratulatory scenario.
**Any natural mothers air brushed out of this story were safely disposed of in an approved birth mother recycling facility. 

**Believe it or not - most of this shit happened!
**Touching stories are profitable for media corporations but may contain 100% actual horse shit.
**True Christians help mothers rather than railroad them into yielding their infants to for-profit "consultants" to well-heeled couples.
**Surrendering a child to adoption may cause mothers a life-long trauma.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. I wrote a comment, but it appeared twice, so I deleted one. In the process, it deleted both of them. So I tried to delete the "comment removed" one and all I got was another comment removed! Phooey!

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  4. Your good knowledge and kindness in playing with all the pieces were very useful. I don’t know what I would have done if I had not encountered such a step like this.

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